World Examiner

Seasoned Citizens Frolic in Fountain of Youth

Email from concerned citizens:

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. 
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a Nazi.  He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn  tires.

So my wife called him a sh*t-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care.  We came into town by bus and the car had an Obama sticker.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.  It's important at our age.

California Fair Employment and Housing?

No, this is not legal advice. Just an anonymous bit of humor:

 

Difficult Times

 

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and goverment fees will increase in a Big way.  To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.  But since we cannot increase our prices right now due the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.  This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know to choose who would have to go.

 

So, this is what I did.  I walked through our parking lots and found sixty "Obama" bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.  I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

 

THE BOSS

Video re: Decline in Orange County Home Values

Video:

Laughing German triggers emergency rescue | From the Fringe | Deutsche Welle | 06.04.2009

Laughing German triggers emergency rescue | From the Fringe | Deutsche Welle | 06.04.2009.

A police car and rescue helicopter were called in to save a screaming man in a German forest, but it turned out that the man was in fact screaming with laughter.

Video: Sweatin' to the Socialists

video:

Obama Has Himself to Thank for this Mess

Barack Obama Thanks Himself In Teleprompt Blunder During Address With Irish PM On St Patrick's Day | World News | Sky News.

A laughing Mr Obama returned to the podium to take over but it seems the script had finally been switched and the US president ended up thanking himself for inviting everyone to the party.

Guns Help Lower British Grime Rate

Video:

Sheriff Hutchens Accident Last Halloween?

PROPHETS OE GLOOM CHIDED BY VOORHIS; Aged Grand Sachem Tells Tammany M... - Free Preview - The New York Times

PROPHETS OE GLOOM CHIDED BY VOORHIS; Aged Grand Sachem Tells Tammany M... - Free Preview - The New York Times.

PROPHETS OE GLOOM CHIDED BY VOORHIS; Aged Grand Sachem Tells Tammany Members Depression WillBe Only a Memory Soon. E-MAIL June 2, 1931, Tuesday

Video Spoofs Gun Free Zones

Funny video pokes fun at the idea of gun free zones: 

If embedding disabled click here.

Careful, Congress: Don't Grab the Wrong Umbrella!

Moms from Ukraine say ze darndest tsings--to my 7-yr-old daughter as they were rushin' off to school this morning: "Don't take zat umbrella!  Zat is Soviet Union umbrella you'll never be able to open!!"  (If it did open, you could easily poke an eye out with it.)  I hope Congress steers clear of this dangerous nonsense:

WND: Communist: Obama working to nationalize U.S. economy.

In a major speech focused on Obama titled "Off and running: Opportunity of a lifetime," CPUSA leader Sam Webb also alleges Obama's administration is considering turning education, childcare, and health care into "no profit zones;" rerouting investment capital from military infrastructure to "green economy" projects and public infrastructure; and waging a "full scale" assault on global warming. "We now have not simply a friend, but a people's advocate in the White House," declared Webb at a recent speech in Ohio for People's Weekly World Communist newspaper.

PREZ ZINGS GOP FOE IN A $TIMULATING TALK - New York Post

PREZ ZINGS GOP FOE IN A $TIMULATING TALK - New York Post.

"You know, I'm concerned about the size of the package. And I'm concerned about some of the spending that's in there, [about] ... how you can spend hundreds of millions on contraceptives," House GOP Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) later said. "How does that stimulate the economy?"

Gone Kittenin'? ...s'ok, They Have Eight More Lives

PETA wants to rename fish "sea kittens" | L.A. Unleashed | Los Angeles Times.

The campaign's aim? To rename fish "sea kittens."

Rampant Shoe Violence Triggers Calls for Shoe Control

First this and now this:

Women attacked North Wales couple with stiletto - Daily Post North Wales.

A GANG of four women were locked up yesterday for a vicious drunken attack on a young woman whom they struck with pink stiletto shoes.

Video: Bat, Words Fail to Stop 'Bumbling banditos' at Orange Stop n Rob

'Bumbling bandits' wanted in 7-eleven robbery | suspects, suspect, counter, clerk, adams - News - OCRegister.com.

The female customer yells out: "Stop it. Don't do that to him. No." As the suspect and clerk wrestle for the bat behind the counter, the second suspect takes a couple of hundred dollars from the cash register, the video shows. The customer tries to intervene and help out the clerk while they are wrestling for the bat. The suspects run out of the store while the customer runs behind them yelling: "No. Don't do that to him." The clerk, who was not seriously injured, runs after them as well.

Criminals Need Your Support (Parts 1 and 2)

Video:

For Part 2 (Carjacking), click here.

Shopping in Texas

Video:

Obama, Osama & Kennedy

Video:

Pro Gun One Liners

"Best of the Best" Gun Pro Naish provides: "Best of the Best" Pro Gun One Liners

Res Ipsa Loquitur, as Applied to RKBA?

            One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. 
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. 
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. 
He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
                  'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 
             'Reading a book,' she replies, 
                                       (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 
            'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 
           'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
                      For all I know you could start at any moment. 
                                   I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 
'If you do that, I 'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 
    'But I haven't even touched you,' says the GameWarden. 
           'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 
           'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. 

Leviathan Humor

“I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word ‘fair’ in connection with income tax policies.” —William F. Buckley Jr.

“To tax the community for the advantage of a class is not protection: it is plunder.” —Benjamin Disraeli

“A government which lays taxes on the people not required by urgent public necessity and sound public policy is not a protector of liberty, but an instrument of tyranny.” —Calvin Coolidge

“The current tax code is a daily mugging.” —Ronald Reagan

“I’m proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” —Arthur Godfrey

“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it’s not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.” —Will Rogers

OC Police and Sheriff Departments Hold Fierce Weight-Loss Competition

Link: News: Police, deputies drop 722 pounds in Battle of the Badges | police, weight, pounds, santa, deputies - OCRegister.com.

Santa Ana police beat the Sheriff's Department in the weight-loss competition, losing a combined 410.5 pounds in 10 weeks.

Meanwhile, at Front Sight...

Germany Refuses to Throw Ukraine a Lifeline

Link: Trend News : Position of France and Germany on Ukraine and Georgia’s Entrance to NATO Testifies Revival of Axe of Influence of Paris-Berlin-Moscow: Experts.

“The action of Germany and France against Ukraine and Georgia’s entrance to NATO testifies revival of the axe of influence of Paris-Berlin-Moscow. These countries gave preference to the geo-political interests of Russia, but not Euro-Atlantic security.

Some are now calling Germany "the new France" -- maybe it's all a misunderstanding:

Atheist Holiday Coming Up! (:-)

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter
and Passover holidays.  He decided to contact his lawyer about the
discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations
afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists
had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge.  After listening to the long
passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and
declared, 'Case dismissed!'

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your
honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case?  The Christians have
Christmas, Easter and many other observances.  Jews have Passover, Yom
Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such
holiday!'

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your
client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own
atheists' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such
holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'

The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same
date---April 1st!  Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools
Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart,
there is no God.'  Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no
God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now
have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

--Author Unknown

DOWN RANGE TV Supreme Court Hears “The Threshold Question”

Link: DOWN RANGE TV Supreme Court Hears “The Threshold Question”.

At that point, a reporter interjected: “the Mayor (DC Mayor Adrian M. Fenty) says the handgun ban and his initiatives have significantly lowered violent crime in the District. How do you answer that, Mr. Heller?” The initial answer certainly wasn’t expected – Dick Heller laughed. Ruefully. Pointing at the Mayor who was making his way across the plaza, surrounded by at least six DC police officers, Heller said, “the Mayor doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” “He doesn’t walk on the street like an average citizen. Look at him; he travels with an army of police officers as bodyguards – to keep him safe. But he says that I don’t have the right to be a force of one to protect myself. Does he look like he thinks the streets are safe?” There was no follow-up question.

!

California Democrat, California Republican or Orange County Republican?

California Democrat, California Republican or Orange County Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide.

Question:

How do you tell the difference between California Democrats, California Republicans and Orange County Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

Anekdoty Only Remaining Antidote

Link: Kyiv Post. Russian duo become joke fodder.

Anekdoty have long been a litmus test of public opinion — and individual liberties — in a country where in the past people faced exile, prison or worse for expressing their opinions directly.

We'd better get used to it.  Here are a couple new ones:

A joke circulating among Russians these days has Vladimir Putin and Dmitry Medvedev waking up in the Kremlin in 2023 with a vicious hangover.

Putin says to Medvedev: “Which of us is president and which of us is prime minister today?”

“I don’t remember,” Medvedev replies. “I could be prime minister today.”

“Then go fetch some beer,” Putin says.

and this:

Putin takes Medvedev to a restaurant and orders a steak. “What about the vegetable?” the waiter asks. Putin looks at Medvedev and says, “The vegetable will have steak, too.”   

Starbucks' Liberal Promise of Perfection

This reminds me of a recent article in CRPA's Firing Line, about how conservatives recognize the world is not perfect and use ISO Standard 9******** ("very, very good"), whereas liberals use a standard of "perfection" -- a beautiful model since the inevitable failure of liberal solutions inevitably results in ever more need for additional liberal solutions.  BTW, several Starbucks regulars told me when they stopped by Starbucks this morning, after last night's meeting to achieve the promised perfection, their Starbucks could not provide them with coffee due to failure to start/clean the machines the previous night.

Link: Starbucks Promises Customers Perfection: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance.

SEATTLE (AP) -- A day after shutting down most of its U.S. shops for three hours to retrain baristas on espresso basics, Starbucks is welcoming customers back Wednesday with a new promise posted in stores: "Your drink should be perfect, every time. If not, let us know and we'll make it right."

FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE

FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE--author unknown

"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."~ Thomas Jefferson

1.  An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject.

2.  A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

3.  Colt:  The original point and click interface.

4.  Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.

5.  If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

6.  If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.

7.  Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.

8.  If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.

9.  Those who trade liberty for security have neither.

10.  The United States Constitution (c)1791.  All Rights Reserved.

11.  What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?

12.  The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.

13.  64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

14.  Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.

15.  Know guns, know peace, know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety.

16.  You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.

17.  911:  Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.

18.  Assault is a behavior, not a device.

19.  Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.

20.  If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

21.  Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.

22.  You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.

23.  Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.

24.  When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.

25.  The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

"Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like   calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!

Video: Tour of the Clinton Library

WorldNetDaily: Funniest news stories of 2007

Link: WorldNetDaily: Funniest news stories of 2007.

Video: "Where's the Fence?"

Click here to support this video posing the important question, "Where's the fence?"

Indiana Jones and the Great Equalizer

Video: Estate Tax Deferral

Hillary's Scar Spangled Boner

Link (includes video): Hillary certainly can't sing | The Daily Telegraph.  In addition to being off-"Key":

Instead of singing "O, say does that star-spangled banner", Senator Clinton sang, "o, say does our star-spangled banner."

A New Way to Celebrate Fourth of July and/or Earth Day

Top Gear-Car Shooting - Watch a funny movie here